She Could Almost Be A Knight

Honor. The point is honor.
She/her. 23. General SF, fantasy, cartoons and comics geek, lover of robots, engineering, science, tabletop and video gaming, crime fiction, 19th century France, opera, steampunk, dead or constructed languages and mythology. Not a spoiler-free blog but spoilers will be tagged. I track the tag oathkeeperoftarth.

Expect to see: Sailor Moon, Tolkien, Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra, A Song of Ice and Fire, Mass Effect, Adventure Time, Doctor Who, The Elder Scrolls, Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes, Pokemon, Les Miserables, Metroid, Star Trek (primarily DS9), Star Wars, Takarazuka, Fullmetal Alchemist, Portal, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Revolutionary Girl Utena


by りあり


I apologise in advance for this. It may be slightly creepy and possibly also full of typos. 

The Mustard Adventure 

The phone rings loudly. Haruka shoves it aside, burying her head in Michiru’s hair. It keeps ringing. 

"Honey," Michiru says, stirring. "Get the phone."

"Argh," Haruka groans, and then grabs the phone. "Hey. Yeah. Really? Ok, no I’m on it. All good, I’ll arrange the flights, I get priority. Yup. See you soon."

She jumps out of bed, starts grabbing clothes, packing her things. Michiru sits up, perplexed. “What are you doing?”

"FT called. There’s a…situation…I have to go immediately.”


"Yeah, uh, you know, the one that writes porn about us."

Michiru smiles fondly. “Oh yes, that one. Well you better go and deal with whatever issues, but come back soon, I have some more story ideas in mind, shall we say.”

Haruka hesitates. She could be in bed with Michiru. But there is an opportunity here than can’t be missed, a mission she needs to attend to. She gives Michiru a long goodbye kiss and she’s gone. 


Some hours later, France. 

Oath is waiting on the sidewalk, enjoying a delicious croissant, but somewhat confused. Yesterday, she had received a message from FT, telling her to be at this very spot at this very time. It was all very unusual. The message had something about “THE MISSION” in it, in capitals, but nothing else about it made any sense. Nonetheless, they were friends and she was here. 

Finally she sees two familiar faces. She waves from the distance but notices in horror as they get closer that….they are wearing matching outfits. Matching mustard outfits. She hides the growing horror in the pit of her stomach and forces a smile. 

Haruka doesn’t smile back. She’s here for a purpose. She’s here for the mission. “We came as soon as we could,” she tells Oath. “Now, take us there.”

"Take you where….?" Oath looks at FT for assistance. 

FT wears a similar determined face to Haruka. “To the shops. You put that post up. The shops full of mustard clothing. We came as soon as we could.”

"Yes…but…you came here for that? I said those clothes were ugly."

"What?" Haruka snaps. "Ugly? Mustard is never ugly, no matter what shade of mustard it is. FT, who is this? A friend of yours? Friends don’t let friends insult mustard." 

"Yes…well," FT says. "We’re friends, but I wouldn’t put much stock in her taste. I mean, she ships Michiru with Setsuna."

The look on Haruka’s face turns from hostile to murderous and she starts sizing Oath up. 

"Uh, slip of the tongue. I mean, Oath, come on, can you just take us to the shops? Please?" FT says quickly, desperate to avoid a situation. 

"Yes, yup, uh- there’s lots of uh- great mustard out here this season. Lots.” Oath says, leading them down the street, while Haruka follows, glaring. 

Again, some hours later, still in France. 

Oath is exhausted. 

"What do you think?" Haruka says, turning, admiring herself in the mirror. She’s wearing a mustard jumper, a mustard beret and tailored mustard pants. 

Oath has learnt just to smile and provide lots of praise. “Looks, great Haruka!” 

"Great, I’ll add it to my collection. Get one set for FT too."

FT comes out of the other change room, in mustard pants, a mustard and paisley shirt and a mustard blazer. “What about this?”

"Yeah, uh great." Oath says quickly, averting her eyes. 

Haruka nods in approval. “Looks great, two of this set too, thanks.”

"Very good, Sir." The shop assistant smiles and adds the outfit to the neatly stacked pile of mustard clothing on the counter. What a day! He’d been worried about making his targets, then this strange Japanese man and his American friend had turned up, wanting to buy everything the store had in mustard, and one for each of them too. He gives a sympathetic smile to the other friend, the one looking tired and confused, before ringing up the purchases. $$$$. He smiles, pleased at the number. He might even get a bonus this month. 


At the end of the day, they all have coffee and tea, in a lovely little cafe. The shopping bags take up just as much room as them. 

"I think we did pretty well today," FT says, pleased. "Thanks for giving us the heads up on the shopping here."

"Uh, no worries." 

"Yes, we succeeded in our mission today," Haruka agrees, and smiles at Oath for the first time that day. The mustard insult had finally been forgiven. 

Later Oath sees the two off at the airport, watching Haruka beam as she flirts with the airport assistants, telling them all about her successful shopping adventures. 

When she finally heads home, she checks her tumblr, looks at that dreaded post, and admits that she’s learnt her lesson: NEVER EVER post about mustard shopping opportunities EVER again. 

The End. 

As a challenge to myself, I shall now use nothing but Asami Yuuka reaction gifs to reply to these replies.

fortythousandth replied to your photo “I dedicate this post to femmerosa, captain of the Mustard Hate Brigade…”

YOU KNOW WHAT ALL OF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN? My mustard pants. Maybe I’ll bust those out on my next selfie spree. I also have a shawl mustard cardigan for the winter months, when it gets colder. I have multiple mustard cardigans, YUP.


You have ALL my sympathy Oath. That is one ugly shade of mustard.

Be still, Haruka’s bearing heart. ..


princessneptune replied to your photo “I dedicate this post to femmerosa, captain of the Mustard Hate Brigade…”

Mustard Appreciation Society~!!


I dedicate this post to femmerosa, captain of the Mustard Hate Brigade (is that what it’s officially called?), who I hope will understand and sympathise.

I’ve at this point been asked by a bunch of people irl about shopping for clothes in France, mostly wondering how I managed to venture into a long street lined with nothing but clothing stores and not buy myself (or indeed anyone I was supposed to get wearable stuff for) anything except Batman socks and a red tie. The problem is depicted on the small sample above: the colour of the season is apparently the ugliest shade of mustard known to man. I have seriously never seen so much mustard (in every single store) in my life.

femmerosa asked: Do you have any Utena/Sailor Moon crossover ships? I want this discussion to happen so bad, but I feel I'm not quite yet at the point of understanding Utena well enough to do the shipping myself. X


Oohh this is SUCH an interesting thought. I’m not really sure I’m one to ship romantically across two series, but I love thinking through what would come of the two casts meeting. Below are some quick things that came to mind thinking about the characters - I’d love to hear what others think, especially if you have actual ships!

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Anonymous asked: Font of knowledge, supreme source of headcanon, excellent writer--too good to follow just once.

HA. I see what you did there.

Thanks, friend, you’re the best.

Anonymous asked: when I see your URL: powerful and awesome person! because "of-tarth". I haven't read the books but I love Brienne~<3

Ahhh, thank you, Anon! I am honoured.

Anonymous asked: MICHIRU


Anonymous asked: Words. Words everywhere


Anonymous asked: When I see your URL come up I think of lesbians, hard hats and threesomes. Sometimes lesbians wearing hard hats during a threesome.

Okay so I was really really confused when I saw this ask, but now that I’ve been to my own blog I see I have managed to accidentally reblog a post while killing time on Rocket’s blog at the airport. Proving once again that using Tumblr on mobile is the absolute worst idea ever.

At least it doesn’t seem like I’ve unfollowed anyone unlike some people who I won’t name but let’s just say their url starts with F and ends with ortythousandth.

Those are some quality associations, I approve. Obviously you need to write hard hats into your next smutfic, o person whose identity I am completely unaware of.

viwan themes